i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
