a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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