Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
So many bounce houses so little time
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
