I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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