She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize