What a fucking waste of an outfit
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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