His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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