Moan for me like Helen Keller
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
