Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
