I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
