I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
