clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I love you. Go after that dick
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize