I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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