Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
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