Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
