Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
