I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
