At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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