What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
