i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
