when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
