your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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