So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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