that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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