i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
