I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
wanna go halves on a baby?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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