That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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