YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize