My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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