is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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