Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
