just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
