You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
