i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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