Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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