And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
