1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
