I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
