i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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