So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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