just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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