Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
