I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
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