This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
