Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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