i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
