So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
