remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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