Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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