just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
