my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Its about making memories worth repressing
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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