i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
