That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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