I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
