'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
