I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How's work?
Spinning.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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