At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
