where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Randomize
