I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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