I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So much rum. So many feels.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
